A while ago I posted something on the Irish, now I can even up the scores with a South African list…I think I actually need to sit down and make up my own one, this came off of Face Book. I am sure there are a lot more funnier things about SA than listed here but it is a start. As you will notice...crime is a strong theme, just like living in Dublin I have discovered that weather is the biggest reason Irish people are surprised that we moved here.
YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:
Ø You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer.
Sad but very often true, although not EVERYONE does this!
Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement.
- Anything from DVD’s, Coca Cola to seasonal fruit, also availalbe from your car window at a traffic light (robot)
Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car
_Available at all shopping centres near you!
Ø You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers
Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750
Ø Hijacking cars is a profession
Ø You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light
Ø The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car
Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election
People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Patience, Precious, Innocence and Given
Ø "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month
Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction
Most likely on the wrong side of the road with about 20 people squeezed inside – one holding the door to keep it closed
Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway
AND that is the speed limit!
Ø You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it
Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes
Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday
Ø You paint your car's registration on the roof
So the helicopters can find it if your car is stolen/hijacked
Ø You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital
Ø You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one
Ø Prisoners go on strike
Ø You don't stop at a red traffic light in case somebody hijacks your car
Ø You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once
This one is a bit of poetic licence, kind of like people saying it ALWAYS rains in Dublin.
Ø Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high
Ø When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans programme, and a Pedi ad
Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are
Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just finished watching
SABC is our national TV station (like RTE here in ireland)
Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather
Ø You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"
My friend Karen pointed out that the reason that a lot of Northern hemisphere people call it a bathing suit is because they use it in the BATH whereas we use it in a SWIMMING POOL!!!
Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any
Available at all fine health shops and even some Super Valu's in Dublin!
Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them
Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Mandela
Ø You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors(long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously
Ø You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State
Ø You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA
Just blame me
15 hours ago